Title: All My Rage
Author: Sabaa Tahir
Genre: Fiction, Young Adult, Young Adult Romance
Publisher: Books On Tape
Publication Date: 2022
Format: Audiobook
Length: 10 hours

Read if you like: young love, family trauma and grief, stories of immigrants and immigration, cross generational stories, rotating perspectives

Rating: 

I picked up All My Rage because it was available immediately in my library and I needed a new audiobook for the long drive I was heading on. I knew it had been a very well-received novel, but knew little else beyond that. In the end, it completely blew me away.

All My Rage was a tragic story of love, loss, grief, and the issues with the American dream. It was consistently heart-wrenching and Tahir’s writing was so immersive that I could feel the pain the characters were feeling the whole way through.

Of note, this is probably one of the best audiobooks I’ve ever listened to. I felt it was exceptionally impactful for the publisher to use multiple voice actors for the characters, and the actors themselves delivered superb performances that brought the story to life. 

While this book is well outside of the genres I typically read, I’m so grateful that I read it. I’ll be thinking about the characters and the themes for a long time, as such a unique story is unlikely to leave me any time soon.

The Book: All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir

All My Rage follows three perspectives. First, we get the perspective of Salahudin, a high school student whose family hails from Pakistan and owns an old motel in a small, mostly white town called Juniper. The story also follows Noor, his best friend and fellow Pakistani immigrant, who lives with her uncle as her family was all lost to an earthquake in Pakistan that she is too young to fully remember. Finally, we also see the perspective of Misbah, Salahudin’s mother, who passes away early in the book from kidney failure. Misbah’s perspectives are all retrospectives, sprinkling in family history and how she and her husband came to find themselves as motel owners in the USA.

At the start of the book, we learn that while Sal and Noor have always been best friends, they’ve been in a massive fight for months ever since Noor expressed that she had feelings for Sal, who insisted he didn’t reciprocate them. When Sal’s mother passes though, they both decide that the fight was not worth it and reunite as friends once again, leaning on each other in this time of significant tragedy. 

Sal barely has time to cope with his mother’s death at all as his father, already an alcoholic, falls into a bender that never really ends as a result of his grief for the loss of his wife. As the bill collectors begin to threaten to take all that Sal’s mother built, he resolves to save his family’s business at all costs. He begins selling drugs at his school, starting small and increasing what he’s responsible for over time, never telling Noor the truth though for shame of what he’s doing and fear that she won’t forgive him. 

Noor, on the other hand, is also wracked with grief but is focused more on trying to escape the life that has kept her so thoroughly downtrodden in Juniper. She lives with an uncle who despises her and wishes he’d never had to take her on, and while she’s worked as hard as possible to be able to get into a good college, her uncle insists that she will not be permitted to go to college and instead will need to stay home and work permanently at the liquor store he owns. Noor is desperate to escape this fate, but as rejection after rejection arrives from different colleges, her hope begins to dwindle, and she becomes increasingly unsure that she’ll ever truly be able to improve her circumstances.

As both Sal and Noor grieve and struggle to rise beyond the trappings that their families have them in, the plot continues to escalate, and before the end, they’ll be faced with their toughest challenges yet, all of which will call into question the love they have for each other, for their families, and the futures that they so desperately wanted. 

The Review

What a moving story. I finished this days ago and I’m still reeling, thinking about how all of the events played out and the stories of the characters that I grew to love.

I loved getting to know Noor and Salahudin. In some ways, they felt like very typical teenagers with typical teenage angst and issues, particularly in the beginning as they grapple with what they mean to each other and the fear that comes with your first love. As the story evolves though, they’re faced with ever more intense, adult issues, and in a lot of ways, they’re both forced to grow up much faster than I think either anticipates. They both have to concern themselves with very basic needs of survival, albeit in different capacities, and while the decisions they make aren’t always wise, it’s clear and understandable as to why they’ve made them. It’s difficult to see them placed in such unwinnable situations, but the situations aren’t so unrealistic as to not hit home that many are forced to make similar decisions every day. 

I found myself reflecting a lot on the fallacy of the American dream and how it was so well articulated in this story. Both Noor’s and Sal’s families came to America with the ultimate goal of a better life, of improved opportunities, but there are so many barriers to immigrants in America. It’s not as simple as arriving and working hard. Both families worked themselves into the ground their entire lives and still, they never reached where they wanted to be, where they should be based on the dedication and effort they made. Even their children, both of whom have been afforded more opportunities than their parents, face daily obstacles and discrimination that can limit their potential. It was nice to see them overcome some of this in the end, but it’s clear the whole way through the book that the system was not established to help these people succeed and thrive.

What was probably most impactful about this book for me was Tahir’s ability to evoke emotion from the reader. I felt my heart breaking alongside Sal as he struggled and grieved, alongside Noor as she desperately tried to claw her way out of her circumstances, alongside Misbah, who just wanted a better life for her family but was cut short before she was able to see her dreams fulfilled. I cried multiple times and felt so hopeless towards the end, so convinced that the systems would never let these people get to where they needed to be. And then, somehow, Tahir manages to weave through hope, manages to find a light that feels authentic, and I loved it. 

This was such a wonderfully moving story, and I can’t recommend the audiobook enough. It was superbly produced, and the use of multiple voice actors for the characters was impactful. If any of these themes seem even remotely interesting to you, add this book to your TBR.