I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a competitive person. I like setting goals, I like working towards them, and I love the dopamine hit I get when I feel like I’ve achieved what I set out for. This competitiveness manifests in my reading life in several ways. 

First and foremost, like many readers, it means that I set a total number of books read as my goal each year and then slowly work towards it. The last couple of years I’ve blown my goals out of the water, but this year has been a real record-breaker for me. In January, I set out to read 75 books, which was a lofty goal above the 60 I managed last year. It’s only mid-October, and I’ve already reached that goal, and am projecting to get closer to 100 before the year is out. 

On the one hand, this feels like a massive accomplishment. I’m so proud of myself, so delighted that I’ve been able to read so many wonderful stories; but I also find that sometimes, I tend to get wrapped up in the total number a little too much. If my reading tracker isn’t halfway full by mid-month, I start to worry and wonder how I’ll make up the ground. And while goals are great, I have to continuously remind myself that it’s the quality, not the quantity, that matters.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past couple of weeks because I’m coming off a book that was sub-par for me. In the past, if a book was just meh, I’d DNF it quickly and move on to the next. With this one though, I slogged through it mostly because I just kept expecting it to get better. By the time I was halfway, I felt like I’d put too much effort into the book to just throw it aside, but because I wasn’t enjoying it, it took twice as long for me to finally finish. In the end, I not only felt dissatisfied with the book, but I also felt a twinge of anxiety about how “behind” I felt like this book had made me. I have so many other books on my TBR and a lofty reading goal for the remaining months of the year, and for a minute, I let it sweep me up and stress me out.

When I started actively noticing this was how I was thinking, I took some time to refocus and reset my mindset to what I’ve always tried to emphasize in my daily reading practice: that reading is for fun, relaxation, for escape. It’s meant to be enjoyed, and savoured, an activity that brings joy and peace. 

To make sure this is still the case, these are the areas that I’m focusing on in the next couple of months so that I can balance my goals without pressure:

I’m refocusing on sticking to what I enjoy

When you read as much as I do, you learn what it is that you like and what you don’t in a book. I’m typically very good at picking books that I know I’ll like, but occasionally, I end up with a book that someone else has given me, or that came in a subscription, or that somehow ended up on my shelf, but is outside of what I know I like reading. 

I do think it’s important to let your mind be stretched, to experience genres and works and authors that you’re not familiar with, on topics you aren’t well acquainted with, but you can still do this and have an enjoyable experience. Right now, I’m refocusing on books, styles, authors, and genres that I know I’ll enjoy or that have high potential for me to better enjoy the process of reading.

I’m DNFing books I’m not enjoying

When I don’t enjoy a book, I’ll mark it as “did not finish” (DNF) and move on. There’s no medal or gold star for finishing something you didn’t like. I’d rather focus my limited time and energy on books I can be passionate about. 

I’m recommitting to audiobooks

I had a couple of really mediocre audiobooks back-to-back and it ended up taking away from the whole experience for me. To rediscover my joy for this medium and build back my daily routine with them, I’m re-reading one of my all-time favourites: A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas. I love this narrator and love the story and it’s already helped me reclaim moments in my day that I was procrastinating reading before because I’m so excited to listen. 

I’m giving myself grace when I need to

Life has been very, very busy lately. I’ve had a huge amount of travel, a heavy workload, and a lot going on with friends and family. 

I love having so much on the go, but the natural consequence is that there simply isn’t the same amount of time for reading as I used to have. And this is fine! I’m trying to remember that even if I only get a few pages in on some days, it’s better than nothing. 

I’ve been trying to practice this very actively in the past week and I will say, it’s meant that when I do have uninterrupted time to sit down and enjoy a good book, I’m even more grateful for it. That uninterrupted reading time is precious to me right now, so I’m savouring it whenever I have the chance.

I think if you’re an avid reader, and especially if you’re an avid bookstagrammer, it can become really easy to get swept up in producing content, getting your total numbers up, and keeping up with every single new release that hits shelves. I think that it’s good, from time to time, to slow down and ask: am I enjoying this process? Am I authentically pursuing this hobby in the way that brings me the most joy? 

For me, this has been a weeks-long process of reassessing and recalibrating, but I’m feeling very much more myself and enjoying the books I’m committed to more now that I’ve centred myself back into what I love about this hobby.